they make shitty teen movies about this sort of thing
by celaenos
Summary: After graduation, Rachel plans a road trip to New York with Kurt and Blaine; Santana, Quinn and Brittany end up crashing. Rachel and Santana nearly kill each other, then...they don't. (Pezberry week, Road trip prompt.)


**This is set after the kids have graduated, and in a verse where Rachel and Finn broke up mutually after graduation, and Santana and Brittany have already done the same. Kurt is going with Rachel to New York. Written for Pezberry week, under the prompt, Road trip, enjoy!**

* * *

"I just think it should be noted that while I've prepared for nearly any scenario that could possibly arise during a three day road trip, there is no way I could have accounted for three cheerleaders showing up and ruining everything." Rachel declares, loudly, towards the back of the van.

"Berry, we didn't ruin shit, we're making it a million times more entertaining." Santana yells back. Rachel sighs and rests back into the passenger seat, she'd forced Kurt out of it at the last pit stop, when Santana had to pee, _again_.

"I thought you invited us?" Brittany asks. "You said, the whole glee club could come."

"Yes, but I was merely being polite."

"That's not nice that's lying."

"Yeah Berry," Santana yells, "lying right out of your ass."

Rachel hears Quinn chuckle from somewhere in the back and suppresses a groan. She supposes this _is_ her own fault. She did extend the invitation of their road trip to everyone, but she hadn't actually thought anyone else would take her up on the offer.

"Is there food in here or what?" Santana yells, "cause I'm starving and if not we're gonna needs to stop again."

"I'm going to kill her before we even get out of Ohio." Kurt mumbles from behind Rachel. She giggles and catches Blaine's eye from the drivers seat, he's smiling too.

"IS THERE FOOD OR NOT?" Santana bellows.

Rachel throws a banana toward the backseat.

…

…

"This shit is not food, we need to stop." Santana announces _after_ devouring the entire banana.

Rachel turns around and glares at her. "We stopped an hour ago Santana, we want to actually get out of Ohio and make it to our motel room sometime tonight."

"Oh yeah, how many rooms did you get?"

"One." Rachel snaps. "Enough for Kurt and Blaine to have a bed, and one for myself. If you three would like a room of your own, feel free to pay for one."

"Q, you got any cash?" Santana asks.

Rachel sees Quinn shake her head from the rearview mirror. "I'm not going to end up sleeping on the floor of some motel room because Santana, Quinn and Brittany decided they wanted to join our road trip."

"We can make them sleep in the van." Kurt offers with a shrug. Blaine shoots him a disproving look and Kurt sighs, "or maybe the room will be bigger than we think and it'll be fine." He adds.

"Easy for you to say, they're gonna kick _me_ out of the bed, not you." Rachel whines. "This was supposed to be a fun road trip for _us_. An end of the year hurrah as we start our new lives in New York. Not deal with the unholy trinity ruining our lives yet _again_."

Kurt snorts and runs a finger primly through the top of his hair. Rachel picks up the ipod hooked to Blaine's mothers van and scrolls through the songs. From somewhere in the back, Santana yells at her to not put a show-tune on. Rachel does exactly that, and gets great satisfaction from the groan Santana lets out once the song begins.

"This is gonna be a very long three days." Blaine mutters.

Rachel couldn't agree more.

…

…

They end up stopping within the next hour (Santana and Quinn are incredibly persistent) and Rachel finds herself kicked out of the front seat by Kurt. "I want to actually spend some time with my boyfriend before we're apart for a whole year. That was half the point of this road trip remember?"

"Yes, but the other half wasn't ditching me to have to deal with the three of them! Why did we even pick them up?"

"Because their car was broken down on the side of the road, and somewhere in there you are a good person who wants them to like you."

"I do not." Rachel insists, knowing full well it's a lie. Kurt merely raises an eyebrow at her in response. Rachel stalks back to the van, yelling over her shoulder, "please get me a carmel latte."

For reasons she doesn't know, Rachel finds herself in the back row with Santana. Brittany and Quinn seem to have claimed the middle row and are lounged out practically on top of each other, trying to get some sleep. From this far back, Rachel can't really keep up with anything Kurt and Blaine are saying, and she's not tired. She sips her latte and tries to avoid looking at Santana.

The other girl is quiet for all of three minutes before she starts flicking bits of her empty coffee cup at Rachel.

"Stop it." Rachel orders.

"I'm bored." Santana whines.

"We can let you out, we're still in Ohio, you don't have to come with us."

"Jesus Berry, I thought I remembered you hugging me in the middle of the hall, handing me a picture of you—which was very gay of you by the way—and declaring that we had forty something days left to be friends. Your idea of friendship sucks balls."

Rachel turns, prepared to explain that Santana is not exactly the friendly sort herself, but pauses when she sees a hint of genuine hurt on her face. She covers it up quickly, but Rachel's already caught it and immediately feels ashamed. She had been the one to order the boys to pull over and let the three of them into the van; and she'd been snippy with all three of them ever since.

"I'm sorry," Rachel says, "I—you guys caught us by surprise, we didn't really plan for three more people. That's all. It's not—it's not that I'm not glad you're here."

"Are you?" Santana snaps.

"I'm—" Rachel sighs, "I'm not _unhappy_ about it."

"Yeah Berry, you sound real thrilled." Santana flicks some more styrofoam at Rachel. She stops bothering to brush it off her bare legs, every time she does, Santana just throws more at her. "You mad Finny boy didn't come?" Santana teases.

"No." Rachel says firmly. "I didn't invite him."

"You invited the whole glee club, he's part of the glee club."

"I told you I was just being polite, everyone knew that except you apparently."

"You're just pissed your boyfriend was too dense to come see you off to New York, don't take it out on me."

"He's not my boyfriend anymore." Rachel reminds her. "And don't take your frustrations about your relationship with Brittany being over out on _me_."

Santana glares at her for long enough to make Rachel squirm uncomfortably, then turns and looks out her window, effectively ignoring Rachel. Rachel sighs, and brushes the scraps of styrofoam off her legs and onto the floor before trying to go to sleep.

…

…

She's woken up by Santana pinching her in the thigh. "Ow!"

"Yo, we're at the hotel. And it's a shithole, great travel planning Berry."

Rachel sits up (and wipes some unfortunate drool off the side of her face) and looks around. It's gotten dark out, Rachel has no idea how she slept for this long. "What time is it?" She asks while blearily searching for her phone.

"Seven. We're gonna check in then find some food."

Rachel glances around and realizes they are the only two people still in the van. Kurt and Blaine are lugging bags over to the front window of the motel; and Brittany and Quinn are doing what appear to be jumping jacks out near the van.

Santana shoves Rachel to get her moving (causing her to realizes she's effectively got Santana trapped unless she crawls over the front seat) and Rachel falls into the window.

"Jesus Berry, you're a mess." It's the fond tone of her voice that finally snaps Rachel fully awake. She glances over to Santana in confusion, but is only met with an impatient look. "Move it, I've got to pee!"

Rachel crawls out of the car and joins Kurt and Blaine. "Do they have another room?"

"No." Blaine says sympathetically. "Looks like we're all sharing."

"If I was a person who swore more often, I'd be doing so quite vigorously right now." Rachel proclaims. She turns around at the sound of laughter and meets Quinn's eye.

"Well this is going to be fun." Quinn says with a smirk.

Per Blaine's orders they hold of on sleeping arrangements until after they've eaten. The only place around for miles is an old 1950s style diner. It's practically empty but they all pack themselves into one booth anyway. Rachel squeals as Santana shoves herself in next to Rachel before Blaine can sit down. She's about to protest when she catches Quinn's eye. Understanding finally hits her and she feels like an idiot. Santana is avoiding Brittany. They've been broken up for longer than Rachel and Finn and as far as Rachel knows it was just as amicable and mutual as her own breakup. But, she can understand Santana's actions regardless; it's still a bit awkward for her to be around Finn. Santana and Brittany were friends much longer than she and Finn ever even knew each other, she can only imagine how Santana must feel.

"There isn't going to be anything vegan on the menu." Rachel complains.

"There's salad," Santana offers, "or you could join the normal people and get a burger."

"No."

"The poorly dressed hobbit would like a salad." Santana says to the waitress who has just walked up to them. Rachel reaches down and pinches her arm, surprising them both. What surprises Rachel more is that Santana doesn't do anything to retaliate but flick some water at her face.

They eat the rest of their meal mostly in tired, hurried silence. Despite not actually getting very far on their drive, all six of them are exhausted. They quickly pay and head back over to their motel room. Rachel is sure that she is going to end up on the floor somehow. Kurt and Blaine will obviously get one bed, and the girls will probably all squeeze into the other, leaving Rachel to her own devices.

What actually ends up happening is much more horrifying.

Brittany jumps into bed with the boys (much to their surprise and Kurt's annoyance) and Rachel is somehow shoved into a bed with Santana and Quinn. The only saving grace is that she's not in the middle. It takes forever for her to fall asleep, worrying about waking up with a shaved head, or something much worse, but eventually she does.

…

…

When she wakes up the first time—somewhere near the early morning—Santana has slung an arm over her and is cuddled into Rachel's side. Her first thought is that this is actually a nice way to wake up, her second is that Santana is going to murder her if she wakes up and realizes who she's cuddling. Rachel tries to gently slip Santana's arm off and push her back over towards Quinn, but Santana's grip only tightens. Rachel huffs and gives up, glancing across the room and jumping slightly as she meets Brittany's eyes. She starts to say something (she has no idea what) but Brittany just studies her for a second and Rachel can't tell if she's actually awake or not. Then, Brittany gets an odd little smile on her face, and her eyes close. Rachel's still tired herself, so she decides this is all some very weird dream and goes back to sleep.

When she wakes up the second time, she's pretty much falling off the bed. Santana's legs are kicking out at her, and the only bit of the blanket she has is barely covering Rachel's hip. Before Santana can kick her again, Rachel jumps out of the bed. Santana is now sprawled out on top of Quinn. Apparently, she is a cuddler. Before she can think about what she's doing, Rachel grabs her phone from the nightstand and snaps a picture, laughing lightly to herself.

"She's gonna kill you for that." Kurt hums from the other bed. He and Blaine are also cuddling, though Rachel suspects its much more on purpose. He lifts part of the blanket next to him, and shivering, Rachel gratefully slides in.

"Humm, maybe. Where's Brittany?"

"Shower," Kurt nods towards the door, "but thankfully I think I just heard the water kick off, because this room is making my hair smell."

Rachel grimaces and leans in to sniff his head. "I don't smell anything." She says. Before Kurt can say anything in response, Brittany comes walking out of the bathroom, buck naked, wringing her hair dry with a towel. Blaine's eyes widen and Kurt makes an odd little choking noise. "Brittany!" Rachel yelps, then remembers Santana and Quinn are still sleeping and lowers her voice to a whisper. "You don't have clothes on."

Brittany looks down at her body and then frowns. "Yeah, Rachel, you don't wear clothes in the shower, or baths. You take them off and clean your body. Didn't you know that?"

"I—I did, but thank you. I just meant that usually, people put them back on their body after. Before they go into another room with all their friends in it."

"Oh, well my clothes are out here." Brittany points to her bag.

"I—yep, it's fine, just get dressed before Kurt has an aneurysm." Rachel says and jumps up and gets into the bathroom while Kurt is distracted by the female anatomy. She locks the door and smiles when she hears him yell at her minutes later. At least she's going to get to use the hot water.

…

…

They end up going to a drive-thru for breakfast (against Rachel's many protests) and are back on the road by eleven. They are far behind Rachel's schedule for the trip, and she makes the grave mistake of saying so within earshot of Santana.

"You made an itinerary for a trip from Ohio to New York? You know it only takes a few hours right?"

"This was a planned three day road trip with stops Santana."

"Well... let me see." She demands. Rachel glares but hands over her notebook. She had spent two evenings researching interesting sights to see, making cheep motel reservations, and plotting out how much time they could spend at each stop. Blaine has to get his mother's van back to her by Monday. It's already Saturday, they should be well into Pennsylvania by now.

"You want to go see the place Washington crossed a river? John Coltrane's house, _three_ fucking museums, _two_ opera houses, the world's biggest ball of twine? Fuck no! This isn't a history field trip Berry this is a road trip. We're done with school in case you forgot."

"I just thought it would be interesting to see some historic places while we're near them!" Rachel says, defending herself.

"We'd have to go out of our way a lot to see most of these." Quinn says, taking the notebook out of Santana's hands.

"I wanna see the biggest ball of twine." Brittany proclaims excitedly.

"Yeah fine, that sounds cool, but all the history crap? _No_." Santana insists.

"_Fine_, we'll just throw our plans out the window and wing an entire trip, we may even get lost." Rachel says sarcastically.

"Great idea Berry, gimme that Q." Before Rachel can stop her, Santana's cracked the back window open and thrown her notebook out of it with a grin.

"Santana! That had other important things in there! Blaine pull over I need it back."

"What, like the lyrics to 'My Headband'?"

"I love that song." Brittany says with a smile.

"Ladies!" Kurt yells from the front seat. "Cease and desist, Blaine can't give this van back to his mother with blood in the backseat."

"You're going too slow, let me drive." Santana demands.

"No," Blaine says firmly, "the only reason my mom even let me take her van is if I was the only one to drive it and we have it back by Monday."

"Ugh, go faster then."

"Santana, I'm already going five miles over the speed limit."

"Go ten."

"No."

Rachel pouts. "I had important things in that notebook." She feels Brittany rubbing her arm and smiles at her, settling back into her seat. Winging it is not her style, not at all, and she feels sick.

"I have to pee." Santana declares. The entire van groans.

…

…

Sometime around lunch they pull over to a quaint little farmers market off the road. At least, Blaine was still following Rachel's directions. She wanted to avoid highways and actually see towns, and the boys agreed with her. While Santana entertained herself by messing up Kurt's hair, and Brittany and Blaine loaded their arms with apples, Rachel moved over near Quinn. "How are you being so calm?" She asks. It's been confusing her since they picked the girls up the day before.

"I've traveled with Santana a million times before for cheerleading, I know what she's like." Quinn shrugs and inspects some sort of carmel candy before dropping it into Rachel's tote bag. "Plus I took some of my mom's Xanax."

"Quinn!"

"I told you Rachel, I've traveled with her before. I came prepared." She grins, lopsided and walks over to Brittany, offering her a candy.

"I'm going to die on this road trip." Rachel mutters to herself.

…

…

They don't end up seeing much of anything worth pulling over for, so they grab some food and head to their motel. Rachel doesn't bother calling ahead to see if they are able to book a second room. They don't have enough money to spare, and they'd made it work well enough the first time.

She wakes up with Santana spooned around her again.

…

…

"We have to make it to New York today, Blaine has to get the car back to his mom tomorrow morning." Kurt informs them. "So unless you see something incredibly cool before we get to the ball of twine, or your bladder is actually going to explode, we aren't stopping until then."

"Who made you the dad?" Santana quips.

"Please, Blaine and I are totally the parents of this road trip, do you see any of you four being responsible? All you do is bicker, and I saw you punch Quinn."

"There was a punch buggy!" Santana protests.

"Excuse me, I've been very responsible, I planned this entire trip!" Rachel yells.

"Oh honey, being a freak is not the same, you don't have a mama bone in your tiny body."

"I resent that Kurt."

He only shrugs and grins at her. Santana pokes her head from behind. "Another punch buggy." She whispers.

"Road trips are stupid." Rachel declares.

…

…

The ball of twine is actually sort of impressive. For about five minutes. But they've been driving non stop for hours (Santana made them pull over to pee twice by threatening to attempt to pee in a cup) and they're tired and hungry and they run around like they're about eight. Brittany starts a game of hide and seek tag and before Rachel knows it, she's beaming and running like a maniac, breathless and exhilarated. She can't remember ever actually playing tag with friends before. She and Santana duck behind a table, giggling together and she can't really believe that this is her life. Despite their annoyances (many, many annoyances) she likes these girls, and they're having fun.

"Why wasn't high school like this?" She asks wistfully. Santana's face falls and Rachel blanches, "I mean, I didn't mean anything by it." She backtracks, "I just meant this is fun."

Santana sits down, sure they aren't going to be found, or not caring and sighs. "Cause we were bitches, and you were annoying, and teenagers are assholes."

"We're still teenagers." Rachel reminds her, and smooths out her skirt to sit down beside Santana.

"Yeah, but it's weird, it's like a ton of pressure and crap just kinda—lifted away once we were outta there. Stupid stuff just doesn't matter as much ya know?" Rachel frowns at her, confused and Santana sighs again. "Like, I dunno, I started thinking about how you said we should be friends, and how I'm not gonna see Q everyday anymore, or Britt and I just—it's weird." She shrugs one shoulder, not looking at Rachel. "Britt's the weirdest part." She says softly.

"Why did you two break up?" Rachel dares to ask. It's been months, but she'd never felt close enough to either of them to bring it up, she's wondered for a while.

Santana doesn't answer, just watches as Quinn finds Blaine and tags him easily, the two of them taking off running to find everyone else. Rachel tries to think of something to say so Santana won't be angry with her. It's none of her business why they broke up, she doesn't know why she always has to be so noisy.

"She's my best friend." Santana says finally. Rachel turns to her in confusion. "I love her but, she's my best friend, and we're eighteen and I think I love her 'cause she's Britt you know? She's the easiest person in the world to love. It was too easy."

Rachel snorts at that. "Santana, don't make light of it. You had an incredibly private and important moment taken from you, none of it was easy. You've handled yourself spectacularly, I don't know if I could have done the same in your shoes. I'm proud of you." She rattles off quickly. If she's honest, the minute Finn outed Santana was the first real time she began questioning their relationship.

Santana stares at her for a minute, and Rachel tries not to look uncomfortable. "I didn't mean it like that." She finally says. "But thanks." She smiles sincerely at Rachel and again, Rachel wonders why this couldn't have been her high school experience. "I meant—it was too easy because..." she trails off, seemingly unsure of how to put whatever she's trying to say into words. Rachel pinches her lips shut, determined not to interrupt her. "Maybe it's dumb and in a year I'll be back with her, and we'll be together all the time and get married and have a bunch of stupid awesome kids but... I don't think that's gonna happen. I think she's my best friend and I put all these feelings on her because I didn't have any other place for them, and she's Britt, it just made sense. Until it didn't." She shakes her head, and the light wistfulness is gone, she stares straight ahead, hard. "I dunno, I'm just talking out of my ass. Basically, I want to bang a bunch of hot chicks."

Rachel laughs, but wishes she could see that serious side of Santana more often. She wants to press her, to hold onto this moment as long as she can, but, maybe she's maturing too because she only smiles and rises, holding her hand out to help Santana do the same. "You're as bad as Puck." She chastises. And it was the right thing to say, Santana smirks devilishly and wiggles her eyebrows before running off and tackling Quinn to the ground.

…

…

They arrive and Rachel and Kurt's new apartment around ten pm. They manage to get lost four times. The city Rachel already loves is a bit frightening after dark when you don't know where you're going. She's not going to leave the apartment without Kurt anytime after seven pm for at least two weeks.

They haul their bags up the stairs and dump them in the main room. "Blaine, call your mom, you can't drive back tonight it's too late." She says.

"I have to, I'm sorry guys, but she needs the car for work in the morning."

"You've already been driving all day, it's an eight hour trip, you'll have to let one of the girls drive at least." Kurt orders.

"I'm not going back." Quinn says as she flops down onto the couch. A bit of the apartment had come furnished, and Rachel's eternally grateful there is a bed for her to sleep on.

"What?"

"You think I'd go back to Lima after I left? My bags are being delivered to my dorm, I'm taking the train to New Haven in the morning. This couch is mine tonight."

"I—really?"

Quinn nods and yawns, drooping herself over Brittany.

"Well, then, you have to let either Santana or Brittany drive Blaine. You could get into an accident otherwise."

Santana walks around the apartment, an odd look on her face. Rachel's about to tell her that she needs to load up on coffee and not let Blaine or Brittany get killed when Santana smacks her arm down on the kitchen counter. Rachel jumps at the noise and glares at her. Santana just smiles and hops up on the counter. "Yeah, he'll have to let Britt drive—she's actually really good at it—I'm gonna move in."

"Excuse me?" Rachel gasps, glancing over to Kurt, an equally shocked look on his face.

"Yeah," she smiles, and it's the genuine excitement and sincerity on her face that makes Rachel pause. "I'm not going to fucking Kentucky, I'm staying here. I'll have my mom send my stuff up." She jumps down off the counter and walks into one of the bedrooms. "Oh, I call this one!"

"I—" Rachel shoots another panicked look to Kurt. "Santana, you can't just invite yourself to move in. Santana!" Rachel follows her, ignoring Kurt and everyone else. "Santana, you can't just decide on a whim to drop out of the college you've decided to attend and move to New York City."

"Why not?" Santana shrugs.

"Because..." Rachel racks her brain to try and find some sort of plausible argument, but comes up with nothing.

"You said you wanted to be friends." Santana says, harshly.

"I do." Rachel insists. She's just caught by surprise, and the idea of actually_ living_ with Santana is frankly, a little terrifying.

Santana shrugs and glares at her, crossing her arms and waiting.

"_I do._" Rachel insists more firmly. "I—" she sighs, "you can't have this room, it's mine." She finally says.

Santana smirks. "This is gonna be fun." She walks past Rachel, and honest to God slaps her ass before yelling out to everyone else. "Bitches, I'm moving in, say your goodbyes."

Rachel drops her forehead against a wall, and it's where Kurt finds her seconds later. "You told her _yes_!?" He hisses.

Rachel bangs her head against the wall with a groan. "She's going to kill us both in our sleep."


End file.
